Weight Loss

I've always been the heavier girl..you know, the "funny fat friend"? Yeah that was me. I went up and down through out high school..my lightest I was at about 150 and a size 9/10, which I'm not saying that's the biggest ever, but I'm barely 5'2 and that was my lightest. My heaviest I was roughly 190 lbs (almost as much as when I was when I was 9 months pregnant!) and not fitting into the junior clothes at all. I can't tell you how desperate I wanted to fit into them. I remember being 15 and having to go into the adult 'plus size' section with my mom and I couldn't have been more moritfied. Nobody at 15 should have to go through that. I never really let it show that it bothered me because I was overall a happy person, always the life of the party..but inside I was always jealous, upset and depressed. Who wouldn't be? I was never the girl that was the hot or cute one, rather the good friend or funny girl.



Well I've come a long way. Many things in my life have changed, but one main thing is my weight. It's been 9 months since I've decided to turn my life around with my health. I've had a few bumps and curves along the way, but I've come so far and I'm not going back! I've never ever been the one to want to go to the gym or work out, but I absolutely love it now! Getting up and doing it is sometimes is a trial, but once I get into it, I'm a machine! I've found my newfound self and can't wait to see what the future holds for me. I'm on my way of checking off my "to do" on my Bucket List of completing a marathon..hopefully a triathelon at some point! So when I have bad days, I have to remind myself that if I'm at the point of thinking about a marathon, then there are really no BAD days. I wanted to share this just because well it's worth sharing! So, here's my before and after photos I'd love to show you all. Enjoy! I know I do!

Me and the bestie

*Before*

(180lbs.)

*After*

(143lbs.)

Just Me

*Before*

(About 175lbs.)

*After*

(136lbs.)

Friday Questionaire (Trial)

I have browsed so many blogs and I've come across quite a few that do little questions for their friends. I absolutely love the idea because I'm the question queen..if you knew me I seriously ask random questions all the time just to get to know someone better. In fact, I made up my own little version of 21 questions..so fun! So here I am giving this a shot to see if any of my new found friends on here will go along with it. I'd love to get to know each of you a little better! :)

The Questions

1. What's one thing, situation, experience in your life that you truly believe was a turning point? (Like in that one instance you knew life would be different from then on..or when you look back and realize that it now has changed you from what you could of and would have been.)
2. What three possessions (besides essentials) could you not live without?
3. If you could rename yourself what would it be and why?
4. Okay ladies, what's one body part that you wish you could change with a magic wand?
5. Even though most of you are married or engaged, think back to your dating days..what was one thing that was a deal breaker in dating a guy?
6. Which leads me to my next question, tell me the qualities in your husband/fiance/boyfriend that are so special that you know he's right for you. :)

My Answers

1. This one is pretty easy for me. It would be the day I found out I was pregnant and those next 9 months. I knew life would be DRAMATICALLY different than what I was expecting or planned on!
2. Some form of connecting to others whether it be my computer or phone, my camera, and my shoes!!
3. I used to want to be Nikki and I even went as far as introducing myself that way to new people. I don't know what it is about the name, but I just loved it. My mom and I went on one of our camping trips and I met a girl and told her my name was Nikki. After hanging out with her for the whole day, my mom came looking for me. Of course she was calling my actual name and the girl was like that woman is looking at you but not calling your name. Haha..that was so funny!! I was so mad at my mom for saying my real name!
4. Ha..can I make a list!? Well, this is my question, so I kind of set myself up for it! I want to be toned up all over really. But, I'm not going to give a "fluffy" answer. I'll let my guard down and tell you. First off, I'd want my hair to be thicker and fuller like it used to be..and I've ALWAYS wanted wavy hair. Countless perms later..and it's still stick straight! Then of course the little tire around my waist to be totally gone, doesn't everyone have this problem?! Followed by having my upper arms,thighs and calves smaller and tightened up, butt bigger and my gobble neck gone (not having to stick my neck out for pictures would be a relief! lol) Oh and my face to be cleared up! Whew..that sounds so bad when I write it out! :(
5. Poor hygiene, really bad teeth, dirty nails, laziness or has absolutely no goals, over cockiness and not being a gentleman (I may be old fashioned, but I like my door opened, chair pulled out, flowers...something!) Honestly I've let a few of those slip, but through it all I've come to realize what's really important to me and what I could never live without in a guy..so I stepped up my standards!
6. He totally and utterly gets me. There is no other person that I could honestly see spending my life with. He makes me laugh or smile even when I'm pissed at him. He does the sweetest things without even realizing it..and I don't know if he does it and makes me think that he doesn't know he's doing it, or honestly doesn't know! That's another thing, he always keeps me guessing. I love surprises and even when he gives me the slightest clues, I still don't know whats going on. I love it. I love that we can talk for hours about absolutely nothing, but still not get bored. Oh and how he's cocky but doesn't over do it. He knows he's the shiznit, but doesn't push it. And the most important one..he wants to be a dad with everything in him. And seeing him with Gracie shows me that he will be a wonderful one too. He already wants to be that to her, which makes my heart melt for him even more. Ah..I could go on and on! I'm sure most of you will be like this too :)

Well, I look forward to all your answers...that is if you'll let me in on knowing you a little more! Hope to hear from you soon. :)

Handbag Planet!!

Check this out! This awesome site is giving away a FREE handbag every hour for 24 hours for their grand opening. It costs nothing to enter..all you do is tell them your name and email and pick a bag you like. That's it! And if you post it on your blog you get even MORE chances to win!! YAY! I personally like this one.

But they have lots more to choose from. Go ahead...HangbagPlanet.com!

Gracie

I love being a mom, don't get me wrong. I don't want anyone to think for I second that I don't...but you know when you look back on something in your life that changes you instantly and wonder what it would have been like if it didn't happen? I do that all the time. At this point in my life, I can't help but wonder what my life would be like and where I'd be if I hadn't had Gracie. She's the most incredible being ever, but sometimes I just wish I could have the EXACT same daughter but just a little more down the road. I think that I would just be graduating school with my bachelors degree and probably be out of the house by now. Yet, I'm still on my first year of college and living at home. On the other side, when I became pregnant, I was partying and not taking anything serious in life. I have always said that she saved me. She was a blessing in disguise so to speak. So, even when I do have those thoughts I have to remember that. Yes maybe life would be easier and things would be totally different, but God has a plan for a reason. All I know is, she's meant to be in my life NOW for a reason. And slowly I'm seeing what that reason is. My life will work into what it's supposed to be and where He intends me to be and what to do. I'm going through many changes right now and I just need to have faith in knowing that I will get there and things will work out. Now..it's time for my to go pick up my little ray of sunshine! Talk soon!

Proposing?

I got to talk (and see!) C this morning! He was able to get on the web cam. I was so happy to finally see him, moving and talking and just being there..it was great, especially after the night that I had. Last night I went out with friends for the first time after him leaving. We went to this bar/club that I'm pretty much a regular at and it was great to get out and dance again. But at the same token, I should've gone home right afterwards. My friend Brena and I went to an after party, big mistake. I won't get into all the details, because I'm trying to get to something else important right now. But basically, I didn't get home until 8 am because I locked my keys and phone in the car and after hours of looking for them and not having but $25 to my name, I had to borrow money from people and get a locksmith. Ahh, crazy night!
So, after my night from hell, getting to talk to C of course makes me happy, but even more so this morning! Here's an excerpt from our convo. He brings up an engagement ring...

C: I am listening to your song, Katy Perry's
J: HaHa, I kissed a girl? You hate that song!

C: But it reminds me of you

C: Plus I don't hate everything that I tell you

J: So why would you tell me you hate something if you don't?

C: Because I don't want to play it or do it all the time

J: So you say you hate it? You're such a dork! You should just say its just not your favorite!

J: You're my favorite ;)

C: I know but you love me to death!

J: You know I really think I do babe

C: Well I know you do

C: I'm your fav?????

J: Yup, you're stuck with me!

C: good because................

C: oh never mind

J: Never mind?? Oh no don't you dare say that when were talking about something like this

C: I DO WHAT I DO

C: LoL

J: Oh heck no

C: yep

J: okay ill remember that

C: Okay fine. I went shopping for something online

C: That's all i will say. And the I need to know your ring size for something else :)

J: Oh really, which finger..?
C: Just guess
J: I think I know but I just wanted to hear you say it and be sure.
C: Okay babe, your ring finger
J: :D I'll have to see what size my rings are that fit me..I'll let you know.
C: Yeah you should do that
C: are you crying
J: I have been crying and smiling this whole time
C: Your weird but I love you
C: so much..you make me so happy
J: Well i cant help it babe..I'm a sucker for you! And I love you too.

We've been talking about the future and what it holds for us. We've talked about marriage, kids, our career plans, where we'd want to live...many things. But after talking to him today, when he mentioned shopping for rings. I really didn't want to know, because I love surprises (mostly when I don't know about them), but I guess our relationship started a little unconventional, so other things will be that way. It's all about planning, not spontaneity. So after our convo, I thought well I can still have an element of surprise in the way he goes about it..the proposal! Ever since I was a little girl I've dreamed of that day when my prince charming got down on one knee. More or less than the actual ceremony! Well no..I've dreamed of everything that had to do with my wedding. It's one of the moments in your life that you have control in turning your dreams into reality. What can I say I'm a total romantic! I was just randomly looking at rings when I came across some proposal ideas. I found some that are so cute, but nothing can top my dream proposal....

I've always wanted to be totally and utterly surprised. My dream would be for when he's ready to fake me out a few times with really romantic dates or being romantic in general..but when it finally comes down to it to send me on a scavenger hunt. Have him set it up when I'm with my best friend and the first place we go there's the first note. Someway I'd want her to sneak in the opportunity to start video recording it. He'd send me to all places that meant the most to us or just a reminder of things in our relationship and have me pick up little things along the way. Towards the end of the hunt, he'd send me home to get dressed for dinner at our favorite restaurant. Then at the end, on my last stop, my best friend happens to "go to the bathroom"and after I read the last note and do that last task..he's waiting for me. (With my best friend still recording!) Whether it be in a crowded place with our family and friends or private, with flowers and candles. I don't care because I would just be so happy at that point. That to me would just be amazingly perfect!

But let's face it, nothing is totally perfect. But a girl can dream!! However, here's some other cute proposal ideas that I found..

• Have a friend or family member set up a picnic -- complete with wine and cheese, or course -- for you in a park. Take your girlfriend for a hike on a route where you'll stumble upon this surprise "Proposal Picnic."
• Tie a red velvet ribbon from one spot in your home to another. Attach little notes recalling perfect moments in your relationship along the way. You wait at the last stop, ring in hand.
• Create a personalize fortune cookie with your own proposal message.
• Scratch your proposal into the frost on his or her car's windshield.
• During your annual Halloween prep, challenge her to a pumpkin carving contest and carve the words "Marry Me" in your pumpkin. (I like this one because we both LOVE Halloween!!)
• Tell your girlfriend you want to make a time capsule together to bury and dig up years into the future. As you're gathering the items, say it wouldn't be complete without a picture of the moment you two got engaged! Have a Polaroid camera ready to take that shot right after you present her with the ring.
• Make your own message in a bottle. On the night before a beach day you've planned, write a love poem on a piece of parchment paper, roll it into an antique bottle with a cork, and bury it in a well marked spot in the sand near your towels. Be sure you "find" the bottle as you dig together -- and have the ring at the ready. (Sooooo cute!!!)
• Make a list of ten reasons you'd like to marry your beloved. Read them to him or her in front of a crowd, have a singing telegram deliver them, or send them written on note cards one by one over the course of a day (or ten!), with the last card arriving via personal messenger (you!). (This is one of my favorites!!)

I'm sure there's many cute, romantic ways to do it. It all comes down to the way the guy wants to do it. I'm sure anyway he does it will be amazing. The fact that I've found someone to spend my life with is amazing in it's own. But like I said a girl can dream!! If anyone has any cute ideas or even stories of their own, I'd absolutely love to hear about them. Thanks! :)

College here I come....again!

I've decided to go back and finish my AA. So, today I went to the college to see what classes I should take. I initially started school back in 05 a little after I graduated high school. My love has always been with the movie, film and/or makeup industry. I just never knew which direction I wanted to go in. In high school I was in TV Production, Journalism, Yearbook, Drama and Photography. I went away to The Art Institute trying for photography, but me being a total dimwit, I wasted a great opportunity by partying and putting my parents money down the drain. I moved back home after a semester and went to the community college here, where I started my General Ed for my AA. Got through a semester there, but then found out I was preggers. What was a shocking bump in the road turned into the best thing that ever happened to me. 9 months later and I had my beautiful little sunshine, Gracie. Being a mom is so rewarding and I couldn't picture not having her in my life. To some it was unconventional the way it happened, but honestly, to me if I never had had her, I'd still be in my partying days and probably not serious about life at all. She made me grow up and realize what life's all about. After being home with her for a year I thought I'd go back to school. I wanted to do makeup, but they didn't offer that at the college. I was going to do the full cosmetology..but ended up only taking the aesthetics course because I have no interest in nails or hair as a profession. When I graduated, I looked for a job at a spa, but nobody was hiring. So I took a job at Express, but kept my eyes open. I started looking into makeup school during the summer and found the perfect one. It's in Orlando..but it's also A LOT of money. My mom still thought it was worth looking into. August rolled around and I left Express because C was coming home and the next semester for makeup school starts in October. Soooo..we're pretty much caught up to present day. Since meeting Chris, I've really dug deep into what I really want in life. Do I want to be a still at home army wife/mom? Do I want to still go on and have a career? Should I even think about changing things now? Am I second guessing myself? Is this what I really want and can I see myself doing this for the next 20+ years? Well, at this point I'm thinking I'm going to go back and finish my AA and see where that takes me. If I went ahead and did makeup school now, I'd have to find something right away to use my knowledge in or else I'll forget what I just paid all that money for. So I think for know I'm going to focus on my AA. We shall see what the future holds!!

It's not goodbye..it's see you soon

Saying our farewell was so hard. I didn't even imagine it when he first got here. It hadn't really hit me that I'd have to farewell in only a few short weeks. Our time together was truly amazing and I can't wait till the day that we can pick it back up again. When I'll see you once again in an airport, but I'll be picking you up this time! Taking him there sucked but I knew it had to be done. We did have one extra day that we didn't think would happen, but it did and it was awesome. I'm so thankful for the time that he did have. We'll just have to take this one day at a time and get through it. I think of all the army wives, girlfriends and fiances that send their men off. I certainly have a newfound respect for them. It is indeed hard. Yes, I may be a new "significant other" in this thing, but I'm here and this is the path I have chosen. You can't help who you fall for I guess. I hope that I'm strong enough for this, that's why I started this whole blog thing. It helps me get my thoughts out and tie me to other people that are going through the same thing. One day at a time is definitely my new motto!!