Homecoming

August 09
C gets back on the plane..and goes back to Iraq for another 3 months. Snap back to my day to day life. I kept busy and focused on Gracie and what my next steps were. Makeup school was calling my name, but I wasn’t ready. I decided I would go in January. C and I would date and have a long distance relationship. So, I applied and started to plan it all out. Yea…well..about that..

November 09
Well, it was here. C is coming home! Mom, Gracie and I pack up and head to Ft. Campbell. As soon as we got there I met with one of the army wives, Jessica and her beautiful new baby Kylie for lunch. Gracie just had her 2nd birthday, she felt like such a big girl compared to little Kylie. Her husband and C are on the same team and pretty close. So it was a great feeling to know we got along. She helped me with all the ins and outs of everything a spouse needed to know. Since I was only an ‘army girlfriend’ I didn’t get that privilege. Thank God she was there.

We made signs and had our cameras charged and ready. The kids were with their grandmas and we headed to base. It was a cold, damp, foggy morning. I was wearing my ONE heavy coat I actually had, you could tell I was a true Floridian. I did not get one ounce of sleep I was so on the edge. At 4am we’re on our way. I remember driving there having an overwhelming feeling the day I did when I got on the plane to first meet him 3 months ago. Pure bliss and excitement.

We get on the bus, drive to the hanger and I meet everyone. Everyone as in the other army wives of our whole company. Here it was, the reality of true military life. Hearing their stories, their lives, how they met their husbands, how they coped over this year, was genuinely making me feel like what the hell do I say? Here I was in the beginning of my story, our story. I just listened. However, when Jessica mentioned C, everyone knew exactly who I was. Apparently C had told everyone. I was the focus of peoples interest for about 2.5 seconds. Hey, at least I didn’t feel completely out of the loop.

We hear over the loud speakers that they are 20 mins out. 20 mins! Jessica and I, along with all the other families pile into the cold misty weather outside. Finding a perfect spot on the fence right upfront was not that easy, but we got pretty close. The plane came in and it circled about 3 times before actually stopping. The size of the plane was ginormous to say the least. The soldiers came out one after the other after the other. There was no way to spot him even with our massive signs.

We head back into the hanger and grab our seats. We literally have to sit and listen to a 15 minute speech before finding our loved ones. Crazy. The hopeful, desperate faces amongst the crowd. It was like watching a pack of wolves search for their prey. We reach the end and everyone is running around berserk. In the mess and craziness of it all, it was like a movie when the array of people parted. I saw him, he saw me. Cue the music. We ran into each other like the very first time. Here you are in my arms..again.

Been a Hot Minute

Well this has been quite some time since I have done this. Blogging. I am a completely different person than I was when I first started this. Reading back, I smile but also laugh. Smile because of such great fond memories, but laugh because of how I portrayed them. I was painting such a beautiful picture with each story. The past two years I will reveal. But the paint will be smugded and messy this time. In fact, let's call it a mess of a masterpiece. My life.

What happened to this woman?

Sorry it's been so long...I've had LOTS on my mind. Ahhh..we'll start with this.

My mom and I.

We have a really close relationship..closer than most. We're not just mom and daughter, but best friends. However, lately we've been having some issues.

See it's always been just me and my mom, so that's all I know. I mean she's dated 4 guys, including my dad (they split when I was 3), my whole life. My point is that it's always been just us. She's always been an independent, strong woman that always made her feelings known how much she despises men. She's always told me that she's happy without a man in her life. No one to control her, to tell her what to do. She can do what she wants, when she wants. And with this, she's formed how I view men and relationships too. I've always been the independent one who didn't take any kind of shit from any guy, which I love. I hate it when I see girls fawn over guys that don't call them every hour to "check in" or tell them every detail of their life or even spend every waking moment with them. Ugh. Gag me. I like being my own person, having my own time and my own friends. Thanks.
To my next point..she's been dating this one guy, we'll call him Joe. She's known Joe since she was with my dad. Joe and his wife were a mutual friends. He's a cool guy and makes my mom happy, which is what I could ever want. And I'm happy for her, honestly I am. BUT, I feel as if she's changing into someone I really don't know anymore. She's at his house or he's here 5-6 days out of the week. I understand she has her own life and she's going to live it how she wants to, but how can I go from knowing her as one person to now realizing she's changing into something different? I guess I wouldn't be worried so much about it, if it wasn't turing out to be somewhat a repeative fo her last boyfriend. They started out great and spent all their time together and he ended up moving in within 3 months. She was letting him walk all over her, taking advantage of her, and in the end she couldn't stand him. I just feel as if this is happening again. I don't want that for her. I guess that's why this whole thing is getting to me. I love my mom and I don't want that to happen for her again. I know she really likes this guy and he seems great, and I don't want to be like this. But how can I not? What does a daughter do, without nagging and seeming like the mother?

Blowing out more than candles.

I went to the most extravagant but coolest kid birthday party today. It was a carnival theme and let me tell you..they were dead on. When we first pulled up there was signs they had made to say things like "Seth's Grand Carnival is in town, for one day only, come see it!" and then had a clown to 'park us'. We get out and he hands us a ticket. Yes, a ticket. Then when we walk around to the yard, there's a ticket booth with another clown to take our gifts and give us our bag 'o treats in exchange for our ticket we just got. Okay, so we walk in through a ring of balloons and into the 'carnival'. OMG, is this for real? There were bounce houses, ring tosses, clowns, face painting, trains, and pony rides. And the food was even a great match with snow cones, an old fashioned popcorn machine, hot dogs, pizza, and cotton candy. They have a house with a ginormous big yard, so they had the room to put booths and little tents everywhere with each game or food. And then on te tables they had candy and popcorn in little buckets with shovels. I didn't mention to you that in our bag o' treats, there were 'Seth bucks' (fake money they made with the kids face on it) to spend on your food and tickets to ride the train or a pony or to play each game. You even won prizes! We didn't stay the whole time because it was 85 degrees out and Gracie was getting tired, but it was overall a very fun-filled day.
Even though it was fun and such a cute idea..what happened to the simple cake and ice cream, dancing in the sprinkler parties? Am I the only one to find this crazy?!

Self-explanatory

Gracie and I have been sick for two days now. So it's been mostly lounging around, sleeping and being overall lazy. I never thought I'd be the one to say this, but I actually can't wait to be up and doing something again.

I'm the one that was the spoiled and lazy girl that had pretty much everything handed to her. However, I was never the bitch that thought I was better than everyone either. I always wanted to do things for people and give them everything that I had. But in the same token I was comfortable and never really realized what I had or truly appreciated it. I've really grown up these past few years and seen what I had and still have, that I may have taken for granted before. I was adopted and my life and my family that I have is something I'm very grateful for. I know I could've had a VERY different life with only me dreaming of what I have now. From the needs to the wants. A car on my 16th birthday, unlimited amounts of food in the cabinet (scooby snacks and fruit roll-ups!), braces and contacts, weekly trips to the mall, going on the boat with my dad, camping trips with my mom..anything. Things and memories I'll always cherish.

With that being said..I can't wait to get up and do something, I hate being sick. Come and go already!! Errr!

So with this darn cold, I had the time to do a silly personality test. Hey, it's all in fun. It's actually quite on target.

http://www.41q.com/index.41q?a=1 ***

Your personality type:

Popular and sensitive, with outstanding people skills. Externally focused, with real concern for how others think and feel. Usually dislike being alone. They see everything from the human angle and dislike impersonal analysis. Very effective at managing people issues and leading group discussions. Interested in serving others and probably place the needs of others over their own needs.

Careers that could fit you includes:

Teachers, consultants, psychiatrists, social workers, counselors, clergy, sales representatives, human resources, managers, events coordinators, politicians, diplomats, writers, actors, designers, homemakers, musicians, religious workers.


***By the way, how do you guys put links in with your words already on here. For instance, you'll be writing a sentence and say something like..
"Oh, Ciara and I were just riding around on the boat this afternoon."
And put a link of her site where her name is, or a link to a site with photos. Something like that. Please let me know! Thanks :)

All I see is you

The very first day I saw you, running up into your arms, the first kiss, the first touch - I can remember it all so well. It was amazing and PERFECT. After that very moment, I knew that it would only get better..and it definitely has! Each day that passes, I know it just means it's one more day closer to seeing you, feeling you and being with you again. Each night I'm dreaming of you and wishing you were here next to me. Being so far away from you is killing me. Not being able to share everyday with you, hold you in my arms, hear your voice, feel your touch, kiss your lips and have your hand in mine, it hurts so much. I wish I could be there with you to hug and kiss and squeeze you all day and night, but our time will come before we know it. I honestly think when you do come back it will have brought us closer because we will appreciate what we have so much more. All the things that we've been talking about, I know we need get it all straight, but no matter what happens, we will be together, that's a promise. No matter what path you and I decide to chose, I want you to know how much you mean to me and how much I truly love you. Like I said before, you're stuck with me! What's meant to happen, will happen. Just like us, I believe WE were meant to happen and here we are. I can't wait to start our lives together, where we can share our ups and downs, our problems and joys, the good and the bad. Fate has put us through this but we'll make it and come out stronger in the end. I'm so thankful that we found each other and I couldn't imagine what or where my life would be if it hadn't happened. I love you so much and I'm counting down the days until I can hold you again.

Hey life, can you answer my call already?

I want to be a somebody. I don't want to stay at the place I am in life and not go anywhere. I want to finish college. I want a degree. I want to live in a loft in the city. I want to experience the world. I want to travel and see the ends and outs of everything. And I truly believe I can do it..I WILL do it AND succeed.

College will come shortly after the holidays and I WILL get my butt into gear and fully through myself into it. If I want more in life, then I'm going to have to work for it. Which brings me to this..I STILL don't know what I want to do or be in life. I'm 22 and still don't know which direction I'd like to go towards.

I'm a very creative person, but in the same aspect I love to manage and direct things. I've plundered with certain career goals more on my artistic side, like for instance photography. (One semester at The Art Institute down the drain...ugh.) I love photography..but it just wasn't in the cards for me as a career. Then I've thought of event planning and interior designing and make-up artistry (which I almost went to school for this month). Then I've thought going into the more management side of myself by going for a business degree, because I could honestly go anywhere with that. But, then I see people where they've targeted a specific major and know exactly what they want to do. Something with 4 or 5 words in the title. Honestly, how do you find out about these random jobs and know that's what you want to do!? It's all still so confusing for me but I hope it will come to me in time. Like today, just a few hours ago, I was thinking about minoring in history because it's something I've always been fascinated by, but is it something I would use for what I want in a job? Errrr....see!