What happened to this woman?

Sorry it's been so long...I've had LOTS on my mind. Ahhh..we'll start with this.

My mom and I.

We have a really close relationship..closer than most. We're not just mom and daughter, but best friends. However, lately we've been having some issues.

See it's always been just me and my mom, so that's all I know. I mean she's dated 4 guys, including my dad (they split when I was 3), my whole life. My point is that it's always been just us. She's always been an independent, strong woman that always made her feelings known how much she despises men. She's always told me that she's happy without a man in her life. No one to control her, to tell her what to do. She can do what she wants, when she wants. And with this, she's formed how I view men and relationships too. I've always been the independent one who didn't take any kind of shit from any guy, which I love. I hate it when I see girls fawn over guys that don't call them every hour to "check in" or tell them every detail of their life or even spend every waking moment with them. Ugh. Gag me. I like being my own person, having my own time and my own friends. Thanks.
To my next point..she's been dating this one guy, we'll call him Joe. She's known Joe since she was with my dad. Joe and his wife were a mutual friends. He's a cool guy and makes my mom happy, which is what I could ever want. And I'm happy for her, honestly I am. BUT, I feel as if she's changing into someone I really don't know anymore. She's at his house or he's here 5-6 days out of the week. I understand she has her own life and she's going to live it how she wants to, but how can I go from knowing her as one person to now realizing she's changing into something different? I guess I wouldn't be worried so much about it, if it wasn't turing out to be somewhat a repeative fo her last boyfriend. They started out great and spent all their time together and he ended up moving in within 3 months. She was letting him walk all over her, taking advantage of her, and in the end she couldn't stand him. I just feel as if this is happening again. I don't want that for her. I guess that's why this whole thing is getting to me. I love my mom and I don't want that to happen for her again. I know she really likes this guy and he seems great, and I don't want to be like this. But how can I not? What does a daughter do, without nagging and seeming like the mother?


Blowing out more than candles.

I went to the most extravagant but coolest kid birthday party today. It was a carnival theme and let me tell you..they were dead on. When we first pulled up there was signs they had made to say things like "Seth's Grand Carnival is in town, for one day only, come see it!" and then had a clown to 'park us'. We get out and he hands us a ticket. Yes, a ticket. Then when we walk around to the yard, there's a ticket booth with another clown to take our gifts and give us our bag 'o treats in exchange for our ticket we just got. Okay, so we walk in through a ring of balloons and into the 'carnival'. OMG, is this for real? There were bounce houses, ring tosses, clowns, face painting, trains, and pony rides. And the food was even a great match with snow cones, an old fashioned popcorn machine, hot dogs, pizza, and cotton candy. They have a house with a ginormous big yard, so they had the room to put booths and little tents everywhere with each game or food. And then on te tables they had candy and popcorn in little buckets with shovels. I didn't mention to you that in our bag o' treats, there were 'Seth bucks' (fake money they made with the kids face on it) to spend on your food and tickets to ride the train or a pony or to play each game. You even won prizes! We didn't stay the whole time because it was 85 degrees out and Gracie was getting tired, but it was overall a very fun-filled day.
Even though it was fun and such a cute idea..what happened to the simple cake and ice cream, dancing in the sprinkler parties? Am I the only one to find this crazy?!



Gracie and I have been sick for two days now. So it's been mostly lounging around, sleeping and being overall lazy. I never thought I'd be the one to say this, but I actually can't wait to be up and doing something again.

I'm the one that was the spoiled and lazy girl that had pretty much everything handed to her. However, I was never the bitch that thought I was better than everyone either. I always wanted to do things for people and give them everything that I had. But in the same token I was comfortable and never really realized what I had or truly appreciated it. I've really grown up these past few years and seen what I had and still have, that I may have taken for granted before. I was adopted and my life and my family that I have is something I'm very grateful for. I know I could've had a VERY different life with only me dreaming of what I have now. From the needs to the wants. A car on my 16th birthday, unlimited amounts of food in the cabinet (scooby snacks and fruit roll-ups!), braces and contacts, weekly trips to the mall, going on the boat with my dad, camping trips with my mom..anything. Things and memories I'll always cherish.

With that being said..I can't wait to get up and do something, I hate being sick. Come and go already!! Errr!

So with this darn cold, I had the time to do a silly personality test. Hey, it's all in fun. It's actually quite on target.

http://www.41q.com/index.41q?a=1 ***

Your personality type:

Popular and sensitive, with outstanding people skills. Externally focused, with real concern for how others think and feel. Usually dislike being alone. They see everything from the human angle and dislike impersonal analysis. Very effective at managing people issues and leading group discussions. Interested in serving others and probably place the needs of others over their own needs.

Careers that could fit you includes:

Teachers, consultants, psychiatrists, social workers, counselors, clergy, sales representatives, human resources, managers, events coordinators, politicians, diplomats, writers, actors, designers, homemakers, musicians, religious workers.

***By the way, how do you guys put links in with your words already on here. For instance, you'll be writing a sentence and say something like..
"Oh, Ciara and I were just riding around on the boat this afternoon."
And put a link of her site where her name is, or a link to a site with photos. Something like that. Please let me know! Thanks :)

All I see is you

The very first day I saw you, running up into your arms, the first kiss, the first touch - I can remember it all so well. It was amazing and PERFECT. After that very moment, I knew that it would only get better..and it definitely has! Each day that passes, I know it just means it's one more day closer to seeing you, feeling you and being with you again. Each night I'm dreaming of you and wishing you were here next to me. Being so far away from you is killing me. Not being able to share everyday with you, hold you in my arms, hear your voice, feel your touch, kiss your lips and have your hand in mine, it hurts so much. I wish I could be there with you to hug and kiss and squeeze you all day and night, but our time will come before we know it. I honestly think when you do come back it will have brought us closer because we will appreciate what we have so much more. All the things that we've been talking about, I know we need get it all straight, but no matter what happens, we will be together, that's a promise. No matter what path you and I decide to chose, I want you to know how much you mean to me and how much I truly love you. Like I said before, you're stuck with me! What's meant to happen, will happen. Just like us, I believe WE were meant to happen and here we are. I can't wait to start our lives together, where we can share our ups and downs, our problems and joys, the good and the bad. Fate has put us through this but we'll make it and come out stronger in the end. I'm so thankful that we found each other and I couldn't imagine what or where my life would be if it hadn't happened. I love you so much and I'm counting down the days until I can hold you again.


Hey life, can you answer my call already?

I want to be a somebody. I don't want to stay at the place I am in life and not go anywhere. I want to finish college. I want a degree. I want to live in a loft in the city. I want to experience the world. I want to travel and see the ends and outs of everything. And I truly believe I can do it..I WILL do it AND succeed.

College will come shortly after the holidays and I WILL get my butt into gear and fully through myself into it. If I want more in life, then I'm going to have to work for it. Which brings me to this..I STILL don't know what I want to do or be in life. I'm 22 and still don't know which direction I'd like to go towards.

I'm a very creative person, but in the same aspect I love to manage and direct things. I've plundered with certain career goals more on my artistic side, like for instance photography. (One semester at The Art Institute down the drain...ugh.) I love photography..but it just wasn't in the cards for me as a career. Then I've thought of event planning and interior designing and make-up artistry (which I almost went to school for this month). Then I've thought going into the more management side of myself by going for a business degree, because I could honestly go anywhere with that. But, then I see people where they've targeted a specific major and know exactly what they want to do. Something with 4 or 5 words in the title. Honestly, how do you find out about these random jobs and know that's what you want to do!? It's all still so confusing for me but I hope it will come to me in time. Like today, just a few hours ago, I was thinking about minoring in history because it's something I've always been fascinated by, but is it something I would use for what I want in a job? Errrr....see!


Weight Loss

I've always been the heavier girl..you know, the "funny fat friend"? Yeah that was me. I went up and down through out high school..my lightest I was at about 150 and a size 9/10, which I'm not saying that's the biggest ever, but I'm barely 5'2 and that was my lightest. My heaviest I was roughly 190 lbs (almost as much as when I was when I was 9 months pregnant!) and not fitting into the junior clothes at all. I can't tell you how desperate I wanted to fit into them. I remember being 15 and having to go into the adult 'plus size' section with my mom and I couldn't have been more moritfied. Nobody at 15 should have to go through that. I never really let it show that it bothered me because I was overall a happy person, always the life of the party..but inside I was always jealous, upset and depressed. Who wouldn't be? I was never the girl that was the hot or cute one, rather the good friend or funny girl.

Well I've come a long way. Many things in my life have changed, but one main thing is my weight. It's been 9 months since I've decided to turn my life around with my health. I've had a few bumps and curves along the way, but I've come so far and I'm not going back! I've never ever been the one to want to go to the gym or work out, but I absolutely love it now! Getting up and doing it is sometimes is a trial, but once I get into it, I'm a machine! I've found my newfound self and can't wait to see what the future holds for me. I'm on my way of checking off my "to do" on my Bucket List of completing a marathon..hopefully a triathelon at some point! So when I have bad days, I have to remind myself that if I'm at the point of thinking about a marathon, then there are really no BAD days. I wanted to share this just because well it's worth sharing! So, here's my before and after photos I'd love to show you all. Enjoy! I know I do!

Me and the bestie

Just Me
(About 175lbs.)


Friday Questionaire (Trial)

I have browsed so many blogs and I've come across quite a few that do little questions for their friends. I absolutely love the idea because I'm the question queen..if you knew me I seriously ask random questions all the time just to get to know someone better. In fact, I made up my own little version of 21 questions..so fun! So here I am giving this a shot to see if any of my new found friends on here will go along with it. I'd love to get to know each of you a little better! :)

The Questions
  1. What's one thing, situation, experience in your life that you truly believe was a turning point? (Like in that one instance you knew life would be different from then on..or when you look back and realize that it now has changed you from what you could of and would have been.)
  2. What three possessions (besides essentials) could you not live without?
  3. If you could rename yourself what would it be and why?
  4. Okay ladies, what's one body part that you wish you could change with a magic wand?
  5. Even though most of you are married or engaged, think back to your dating days..what was one thing that was a deal breaker in dating a guy?
  6. Which leads me to my next question, tell me the qualities in your husband/fiance/boyfriend that are so special that you know he's right for you. :)

My Answers

  1. This one is pretty easy for me. It would be the day I found out I was pregnant and those next 9 months. I knew life would be DRAMATICALLY different than what I was expecting or planned on!
  2. Some form of connecting to others whether it be my computer or phone, my camera, and my shoes!!
  3. I used to want to be Nikki and I even went as far as introducing myself that way to new people. I don't know what it is about the name, but I just loved it. My mom and I went on one of our camping trips and I met a girl and told her my name was Nikki. After hanging out with her for the whole day, my mom came looking for me. Of course she was calling my actual name and the girl was like that woman is looking at you but not calling your name. Haha..that was so funny!! I was so mad at my mom for saying my real name!
  4. Ha..can I make a list!? Well, this is my question, so I kind of set myself up for it! I want to be toned up all over really. But, I'm not going to give a "fluffy" answer. I'll let my guard down and tell you. First off, I'd want my hair to be thicker and fuller like it used to be..and I've ALWAYS wanted wavy hair. Countless perms later..and it's still stick straight! Then of course the little tire around my waist to be totally gone, doesn't everyone have this problem?! Followed by having my upper arms,thighs and calves smaller and tightened up, butt bigger and my gobble neck gone (not having to stick my neck out for pictures would be a relief! lol) Oh and my face to be cleared up! Whew..that sounds so bad when I write it out! :(
  5. Poor hygiene, really bad teeth, dirty nails, laziness or has absolutely no goals, over cockiness and not being a gentleman (I may be old fashioned, but I like my door opened, chair pulled out, flowers...something!) Honestly I've let a few of those slip, but through it all I've come to realize what's really important to me and what I could never live without in a guy..so I stepped up my standards!
  6. He totally and utterly gets me. There is no other person that I could honestly see spending my life with. He makes me laugh or smile even when I'm pissed at him. He does the sweetest things without even realizing it..and I don't know if he does it and makes me think that he doesn't know he's doing it, or honestly doesn't know! That's another thing, he always keeps me guessing. I love surprises and even when he gives me the slightest clues, I still don't know whats going on. I love it. I love that we can talk for hours about absolutely nothing, but still not get bored. Oh and how he's cocky but doesn't over do it. He knows he's the shiznit, but doesn't push it. And the most important one..he wants to be a dad with everything in him. And seeing him with Gracie shows me that he will be a wonderful one too. He already wants to be that to her, which makes my heart melt for him even more. Ah..I could go on and on! I'm sure most of you will be like this too :)

Well, I look forward to all your answers...that is if you'll let me in on knowing you a little more! Hope to hear from you soon. :)


Handbag Planet!!

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But they have lots more to choose from. Go ahead...HangbagPlanet.com!